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What Is Complex Trauma?

When most people hear the word trauma, they think of one-time, acute events: accidents, natural disasters, or assaults. These experiences are undeniably traumatic and can have a profound impact. But there’s another kind of trauma that’s quieter, more nuanced, and often overlooked. People can live with complex trauma for years or even decades without realizing they have experienced trauma.

What is complex trauma?

At its core, complex trauma refers to repeated or prolonged exposure to traumatic events (often beginning in childhood) that happen in the context of relationships. It’s the kind of trauma that accumulates over time and often includes emotional neglect, chronic misattunement, abuse, or growing up in an environment where you had to consistently suppress your needs to stay safe or loved.Unlike single-incident trauma, complex trauma isn’t always about what happened to you -- it can also be about what didn’t happen. The safety that wasn’t there. The nurturing you didn’t receive. The sense of being seen and known that was never offered.

What is the impact of complex trauma?

Complex trauma tends to shape not just how we feel, but who we are. It embeds itself in our nervous systems, our beliefs about ourselves, and our relationships. It can show up as chronic shame, emotional dysregulation, hyper-independence, or deep fears of abandonment. It can make intimacy feel threatening and stillness feel intolerable. And often, people living with complex trauma don’t even realize that what they’ve experienced is trauma. They just assume they’re broken or too much.

Healing is possible

Healing from complex trauma won't happen through sheer grit or quick fixes. It’s not about “just thinking differently”, which is why top-down approaches like CBT are often not enough for those who have experienced complex trauma. Healing from complex trauma happens in safe, consistent, attuned relationships. Whether that’s in therapy, community, or chosen family, we need spaces where all our parts can show up and be met with compassion. Through this, we can begin to unlearn the shame-based narratives we have been living in our entire lives.If you resonate with this, you’re not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you. Your responses make sense in light of what you’ve lived through. And there is a way forward -- one that is slower and kinder than the world often makes room for.

Curious about working together?

I would love to hear from you! You can reach out via the contact form, or click the button below to book in a free 20-minute consult.

What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) and How Can It Help Me?

“Part of me wants to change… but another part feels stuck or scared”. Sound familiar? You're not alone. We all experience these kinds of inner conflicts. These internal tensions are exactly what the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model helps us to understand and heal.IFS is a trauma-informed, compassion-based therapy model that’s grounded in a simple but profound idea: we all have many parts inside of us. These parts hold different emotions, needs, beliefs, and experiences, and they’ve often developed in response to what we’ve lived through, especially if we’ve experienced trauma or chronic stress.You might notice a part of you that pushes you to achieve or stay busy, and another part that feels overwhelmed and just wants to shut down. A part that longs for connection, and another part that panics at the thought of being seen. IFS sees all of these parts as trying to protect us in some way, even when their strategies might no longer be working.

How can IFS help with complex trauma, anxiety and depression?

When we’ve lived through complex trauma (relational trauma from neglect, abuse, or chronic misattunement), we often end up with parts of ourselves that carry pain, fear, shame, or grief. Other parts might work overtime to keep that pain buried, helping us function or stay safe. While these protective parts are often incredibly resourceful, they can also leave us feeling anxious, shut down, disconnected, or self-critical.IFS offers a path toward healing by helping us build a relationship with our parts from a place of curiosity and compassion. Instead of trying to get rid of anxiety or depression, we turn toward the parts of us that hold those feelings and begin to understand what they’re trying to communicate.Over time, as we create more space for the parts of us that have been exiled, ignored, or shamed, we begin to experience more internal harmony. The intensity of our symptoms can lessen -- not because we’ve silenced them, but because they no longer have to scream to be heard.

At the heart of IFS is something called the Self

At our core, beneath all of our parts, is what IFS calls the Self: the part of us that isn’t a part. It’s the steady, compassionate, curious, and wise presence within all of us. The idea of a core Self or wise, compassionate presence within us has existed across cultures and spiritual traditions for thousands of years. In Buddhism, this is reflected in the concept of Buddha nature or non-attached awareness: a calm, centered state that’s always present beneath the noise of the mind. When IFS refers to the Self, it draws from these ancient understandings, offering a grounded, accessible way to reconnect with that inner wisdom in therapy.Our parts aren’t the problem -- they just need to know they’re not alone anymore. When our parts can trust that Self is present, real healing becomes possible.Whether you’re navigating complex trauma, anxiety, depression, or just feeling like you’re constantly at war with yourself, IFS can help you move toward more internal safety, connection, and ease. It’s not about fixing yourself. It's about coming home to yourself.

Curious about working together?

I would love to hear from you! You can reach out via the contact form, or click the button below to book in a free 20-minute consult.

Untangling the Threads: How Complex Trauma, Anxiety, Depression, and Neurodivergence Intersect

Anxiety, depression, complex trauma, and neurodivergence (ADHD, autism, or sensory processing differences) often co-occur. It's not easy to tease these experiences apart. They interact, overlap, and sometimes mask one another. What looks like anxiety might also be a trauma response. What gets labeled as depression might actually be deep exhaustion from years of masking or unmet needs. While it can be incredibly frustrating and exhausting to try to make sense of these overlapping symptoms, it's important to remember that these labels are just that -- signposts we have created to help us make sense of our experiences. When we slow down and get curious, we are able to step back and see the fuller picture. And with that understanding comes the possibility of true healing.

The messy overlap no one talks about enough

Complex trauma (trauma that’s relational, chronic, and often began in childhood) shapes our nervous system, our sense of safety, and our beliefs about ourselves. It can leave us constantly scanning for danger, feeling like we’re “too much” or “not enough,” or needing to disconnect to get through the day.Anxiety and depression often grow out of those conditions. Anxiety can be a part that’s always preparing for something to go wrong. Depression might be a part that’s learned to shut down as a way to survive overwhelm or despair.Neurodivergence adds another layer. When the world isn’t built for your brain or body, it can be deeply dysregulating. Many neurodivergent people have grown up being told they’re lazy, disorganized, too sensitive, or hard to understand -- messages that can lead to shame, masking, or burnout. If that sounds like trauma, it’s because it is.Neurodivergent folks may be more vulnerable to trauma, especially if their needs weren’t understood or supported growing up. Trauma can also mimic or intensify neurodivergent traits, making it hard to know what’s “you” and what’s a response to what you’ve lived through.

So where does Internal Family Systems come in?

IFS gives us a way to meet all of this complexity with compassion. Instead of trying to label or fix parts of you, IFS invites you to get curious about them.That anxious part? It might be working overtime to keep you safe. The shutdown part? It might carry grief no one ever acknowledged. The masking part? It might have helped you survive in spaces that didn’t welcome your differences. In IFS, all of these parts are welcome. None of them are bad. They’re trying, in their own ways, to protect you.What I love about the IFS approach is that it doesn’t pathologize. It doesn’t tell you who you should be. It helps you come into relationship with your inner system and gradually helps you lead from a place of deeper Self-energy: a place that is calm, compassionate, and connected.

You don't have to untangle this all alone

IFS offers a map for healing that honours both your pain and your strengths. Whether you’re navigating trauma, anxiety, depression, neurodivergence, or all of the above, there’s room for all of you here.You don’t need to be fixed. You need space to feel, to be understood, and to come home to yourself.

Curious about working together?

I would love to hear from you! You can reach out via the contact form, or click the button below to book in a free 20-minute consult.

What Is Somatic Therapy, and How Can It Help Me?

For many of us, healing has been something we’ve tried to think our way through. We’ve read the books, talked about the past, analyzed our patterns... and all of that matters. But sometimes, despite all that insight, we still feel stuck.That’s where somatic therapy comes in.Somatic therapy works with the truth that trauma, emotion, and memory don’t just live in the mind—they live in the body. And healing often needs to happen not just through words, but through felt experience.

What is somatic therapy?

The word somatic comes from the Greek word soma, meaning body. Somatic therapy is an approach that gently helps you reconnect with your body, your sensations, and your inner experience in the present moment.Rather than only asking “What happened?” or “Why do I feel this way?”, somatic therapy also asks:• What does your body know?
• Where do you feel that in your chest, your belly, your shoulders?
• What happens if we stay with that sensation, without trying to change it?Through this embodiment work, we begin to create space for the body to speak, unwind, and release what it’s been holding.

Why the body matters

When we go through overwhelming experiences, especially ones we couldn’t escape or make sense of, our bodies step in to protect us. They might freeze, shut down, go numb, tense up, or dissociate. These responses are deeply intelligent. They helped us survive.But when those protective responses get stuck, they can keep us feeling like we’re still in danger, even when we’re safe.That’s why talk therapy alone isn’t always enough. You can’t reason your way out of a survival response.Somatic therapy helps your nervous system complete those protective responses, find regulation again, and build a deeper sense of safety - not just intellectually, but physiologically.

How does somatic therapy actually work?

Somatic therapy can look different depending on the therapist and the needs of the person in the room. It might include:• Tracking body sensations, tension, or movement.
• Using breath, grounding, or gentle movement to support regulation.
• Tuning into boundaries and how they show up physically.
• Pausing during a story to notice what your body is saying.

Who is somatic therapy for?

Somatic therapy can be helpful for anyone, but especially for those who:• Have tried talk therapy and still feel stuck.
• Feel disconnected or numb a lot of the time.
• Live with chronic stress, pain, or fatigue.
• Have a history of trauma (especially complex, relational, or developmental trauma).
• Are neurodivergent and want to work with the sensory and regulatory needs of their nervous system.Somatic therapy gently invites us back into relationship with ourselves. It helps us feel what was once too much to feel, at a pace that’s manageable. And over time, it helps us reclaim a sense of safety, aliveness, and trust in our own bodies.

Ready to explore somatic therapy?

I would love to hear from you! You can reach out via the contact form, or click the button below to book in a free 20-minute consult.